Debate: Are parents to blame for children's bad behaviour?
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
David Hart, the head teachers' union leader, has criticised affluent as well as less-well-off parents for producing a generation of ill-mannered children who arrive at school half-asleep, abuse teachers and disrupt lessons.
YES - Kath Donaldson, play therapist, Middlesex
Parents are largely responsible for their children's behaviour. If parents meet their children's emotional needs from babyhood, then the children are likely to have high self-esteem, to have developed a conscience and to be able to make satisfying relationships. To build a secure attachment, parents need to respond sensitively and empathetically to many needs.
If parents respond critically, their children are likely to have little sense of conscience.
NO - Jan Fry, director of external relations at Parentline Plus
As the biggest independent provider of parent support, we at Parentline Plus firmly believe that blaming does not help; what is needed is investment in family support, not just crisis management.
In our experience, parents do take their responsibilities very seriously. But in turn, parents need to be taken seriously too, to be heard, to be supported and to bring up children in a country that enjoys and actively supports children and families.
NO - Kate Lawton, programme manager, mentoring organisation Chance UK
The word "blame" is negative. It is more helpful to encourage parents to identify areas in which they are struggling to manage their children's behaviour and motivate them to set appropriate boundaries.
All children test limits: this is a part of emotional development and learning to become independent. Parents should be supported to work out practices to enable children to feel secure. Under these circumstances, any "bad behaviour" will be reduced.
YES - Ashley Sweetland, co-chairman of the board of trustees, UK Youth Parliament
... and no. They are responsible in the view of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Some parents seem unaware of this beyond the provision of bed and breakfast facilities. The Convention sees responsibilities beyond care into such matters as guiding children on morality and faith. Blame some and address their ignorance, but recognise that "bad behaviour" can be brought about by lack of coherent support from public agencies.
